We're All the Main Character (And Why That Changes Everything)

I was facilitating a Procurement team workshop recently when one of the team members captured it brilliantly when talking about the challenges of influencing stakeholders:

"We're all the main character in our own story"

I loved this because it helps us to shift our perspective. When we worry about perceptions of Procurement, what others are thinking of us, we forget that they also have those same perceptions that others may have about them.

It creates space between our initial reaction and the response we can choose.

For a function like Procurement, this shift in perspective changes everything about how we build influence and navigate stakeholder relationships.

Same Situation, Different Narratives

Often positioned as the people who say "no" – to the preferred supplier, to the inflated budget, to the quick decision. In Procurement's story, we're protecting value, managing risk, driving strategic outcomes.

But in your stakeholder's story, you're the obstacle between them and their goal. The gatekeeper. The bureaucrat.

Same interaction, but with completely different narratives.

Why This Matters More Than You Think

When we forget that our stakeholders are living their own urgent, important stories, we approach conversations as if everyone should naturally see things our way. We lead with process, policy, and logic.

But they're navigating their own pressures: the project deadline that can't move, the CEO question they need to answer by Friday, the team they're trying to motivate with limited resources, their own worries about how others are perceiving them.

Your Procurement governance is more of a plot twist than the main storyline for them.

The Story Shift

Understanding this doesn't require you to abandon your principles or say yes to everything. It's more about giving you options, rather than being stuck in the impasse that often arises in these situations.

The shift is focused on understanding their story with curiosity before asking them to get on board with yours.

Instead of: "We need three quotes and a business case before we can proceed."

Try: "Help me understand what you're trying to achieve and when you need it by. Then let me share what I'm seeing from a risk and value perspective."

One approach positions you as the process enforcer. The other positions you as someone who might actually help them succeed.

Three Questions That Change the Dynamic

Going into a tricky stakeholder with the intention of actively listening and being armed with great questions can make a seismic shift in your relationship. Here are 3 to get you started:

What's at stake for them in their story? Not just the project, but their credibility, their team's morale, their relationship with their own stakeholders.

Where might I be a villain in their narrative without realising it? Are there ways I'm creating friction that feel necessary to me but arbitrary to them?

How can I be useful to their goals whilst staying true to mine? Influence grows when people experience you as someone who helps them succeed, not just someone who holds the standards.

The Leadership Opportunity

Asking great questions and putting yourself in their shoes (and their story) holds greater influence than you might think.

Leaders who can hold their own strategic perspective while being genuinely interested in others people's stories paves the way for brilliant collaboration: "I see what you're trying to do, and here's how we might get there together."

This is true partnership rather than transactional compliance.

When you help your stakeholder be the hero of their own story, you might just find that they naturally make space for you in it.

How Coaching For Procurement Ltd Can Help

Coaching For Procurement Ltd offers a full suite of coaching solutions designed to empower and support Procurement leaders and their teams; from coaching qualifications using the unique P.R.O.C.U.R.E® coaching methodology and frameworks, through to Procurement team coaching and 1:1 coaching.

Want to unlock the full potential of your Procurement team in 2026? Let’s discuss how coaching can drive impact in your organisation: contact me today:

www.coachingforprocurement.co.uk/contact-me