How perception, projection and a dose of curiosity shape relationships in Procurement

I remember once being part of a large meeting with representatives of multiple categories, varying levels of seniority and representatives of key stakeholder groups. 

Within about 15 minutes, shots were fired and it was put to one of those groups that they were living in an ivory tower.

If you’re not familiar with the phrase, it essentially means that anyone living in an ivory tower is somewhat detached from the realities and struggles of real life.

The interesting thing is that this accusation gained some nods of agreement from some and dismay from others.

And it certainly set the tone of underlying conflict for the rest of the meeting.

Looking back on it now, that moment reminds me just how powerful (and sticky) perceptions can be.

The accuser wasn’t seeing the individual in front of them. They were seeing every hurdle, every frustration, every ‘no’ they’d ever encountered from the group that they represented. They were carrying a whole history that this individual hadn’t personally created.

This isn’t an isolated incident.

We all carry perceptions around with us about others and about ourselves.

So often we talk about the need to be curious within Procurement.

But the reality is, curiosity starts within.

Perception: reflection vs reality

We like to believe we’re good judges of character. That we “read people” well. But the truth is, we’re not seeing people as they are…we’re seeing them as we are.

Our perceptions are shaped by:

• Our past experiences (good, bad, and average)
• Our values and what we prioritise
• Our beliefs about how people “should” behave
• Our own blind spots

That means two people can observe the same person and walk away with entirely different impressions. “They’re detail-oriented!” “They’re slow.” “They’re diplomatic.” “They’re non-committal.” 

All perceptions from the same behaviours, but filtered through different lenses.

Perception = Projection

A concept within psychology, derived from the work of Carl Jung, states that we often project parts of ourselves onto others. It’s an uncomfortable concept as it encourages us to entertain the idea that a frustration that we feel about someone is actually a frustration that we have with ourselves.

That colleague we call “controlling”? Maybe they’re reminding us of our own discomfort with ambiguity. That stakeholder we find “too emotional”? Maybe they’re expressing something we’ve been taught to suppress.

This concept doesn’t suggest that our perceptions are clearly right or wrong. But it encourages us to be curious and ask ourselves: what am I really reacting to here?

Why this matters (especially in Procurement)

Procurement is a relationship business in disguise.

We work with stakeholders, suppliers, internal teams, external partners, and the way we perceive each other can either unlock collaboration or quietly corrode it.

If we assume someone always pushes back, we stop inviting them in.

If we believe a supplier is only transactional, we don’t explore innovation.

If we believe a key stakeholder doesn’t value Procurement, we feel defeated rather than encouraged to keep trying.

If we think we already know someone, we stop being curious.

And this is the uncomfortable truth.

When our perception becomes fixed, we freeze people in time.

We miss who they are now and who they’re becoming.

We automatically discount possibility.

And this doesn’t just happen in the room.

Think about your perception of other Procurement professionals on LinkedIn…what perceptions do you have of them?

Perhaps you previously worked with someone who now creates content.

Do you see them through their content of today, or do you see them through the experience you had of working with them?

Curiosity: the key to growth

Curiosity is underrated.

And while it’s often listed as a need to have when it comes soft skills in Procurement, it’s not a switch we can flip on demand.

It takes practice and it needs to start within.

It says: I’m willing to see you freshly.

It says: I’ll question my assumptions.

It says: You don’t have to be who I decided you were.

And it works both ways.

Curiosity allows us to grow too. It makes room for reflection. For nuance. For those human contradictions we all carry.

In practical terms, that might look like:

• Asking “What else could be going on here?” before reacting.
• Checking in: “Has my view of this person evolved, or am I relying on an old mental snapshot?”
• Replacing judgment with inquiry. “I wonder why that stakeholder seems hesitant today?” instead of “they’re being difficult again.”

The Invitation

So here's the challenge that I offer you:

How often do I give people permission to change?

Because if we’re truly people-first within Procurement, we can't let perceptions stay rooted.

If we want perceptions of Procurement to change, we need to update our own lens.

We need to get curious and be open to the idea that our past perceptions are not always accurate.

You never know what might shift when you do.

How Coaching For Procurement Ltd can help

Coaching For Procurement Ltd offers a full suite of coaching solutions designed to empower and support Procurement leaders and their teams; from Procurement team coaching through to ILM qualifications using the unique P.R.O.C.U.R.E® coaching methodology and frameworks, as well as 1:1 coaching. We work together on your inner game at these pivotal moments of your Procurement journey.

If you would like to explore a coaching approach to building Procurement's impact through coaching, please reach out to find out more: www.coachingforprocurement.co.uk/contact-me